Millennial Buys* First Home Using Unpaid Internship Exposure
Jesús Whept, a 26-year-old graphic designer from Sydney, has become the poster child for the unpaid intern revolution after purchasing his first property with the help of the Credit Union for Non-paid Trainees with Experience & Exposure.
“My journey towards home ownership first started while I was trawling Pedestrian.tv for job opportunities and I spotted an ad for a ‘marketing superstar’,” Jesús told the Underground Observer.
“Obviously I was nervous as to whether I’d be eligible for such a lucrative unpaid position – I only had a university degree and an extensive portfolio to back me up.”
“Thankfully though, Disruptive Digital Business Growers (DDBG) saw a lot of potential in me – I had a pulse and a thirst for ill-defined educational opportunities – and they generously agreed to take me on for a minimum of 12 months of free work.”
Once he’d completed 6 months of literally priceless training with the company whose paying clients had no idea their work was being carried out for free, Jesús decided to explore his home buying options.
The peppy young go-getter’s dreams were almost crushed, however, when all of the major banks he approached shunned his “absurd” departure from the traditional system of exchanging goods and services for money or tangible assets.
“They would say things to me like, ‘Have you considered actual employment?’ and ‘How do you even live?’. But I just took their rude remarks as a sign of success. Haters always want to bring you down,” Jesús said.
With a little online sleuthing and a still occupied childhood bedroom full of determination, Jesús’ commitment to unpaid labour finally paid off when he discovered the Credit Union for Non-paid Trainees with Experience & Exposure.
“I just forwarded them documentation of my commitment to modern day slavery and before I knew it my application was approved!” he said.
Dr Dick Whiteman, the President of CUNTEE says that his unique mortgages give millennials the opportunity to have homes they’ll never use, much like their older counterparts.
“We grant loans for ‘exposure properties’ all over the world. With one of our mortgages, customers gain unlimited exposure to a property of their choice – whether that be in the form of distributed pictures, text, or even videos of the property!”
“Of course, you can’t use our properties in the traditional sense of living in them, but they’ll give you experience with a range of homeownership skills that’ll be crucial in owning a home in future. That’s our guarantee!” Dr Whiteman explained.
Despite his successful property acquisition, Jesús’ initial commitment to taking on an unpaid internship was not without criticism.
“Many people told me that contributing my unpaid labour to the market was exploitation that ultimately devalues literally every other creative’s work. But those are the same people who don’t have any exposure to a 18 bedroom mansion in the bustling heart of Antigua and Barbuda. So tell me, who is laughing now?” Jesús said.
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