Category Archives: Comedy

News Headline Actually Conveys Point of The Article

A schnews.com.au journalist has been sacked following the unauthorised publication of several headlines that actually described the subject matter of their corresponding articles.

Read more

Millennial Buys* First Home Using Unpaid Internship Exposure

millennial, first home, first home buyers, unpaid, unpaid interns, free work, free labour, internship, pedestrian.tv, pedestrian, gen y, stop working for free

Jesús Whept, a 26-year-old graphic designer from Sydney, has become the poster child for the unpaid intern revolution after purchasing his first property with the help of the Credit Union for Non-paid Trainees with Experience & Exposure.

“My journey towards home ownership first started while I was trawling Pedestrian.tv for job opportunities and I spotted an ad for a ‘marketing superstar’,” Jesús told the Underground Observer. Read more

Get LAID Using These 4 Foolproof Tinder Conversation Starters

tinder, tinder opening lines, tinder conversation starters, conversation starters, how to get laid, online dating, dating app, how to talk to girls on tinder, tinder goals

When it comes to Tinder (and everything else in this anti-men cultural economy am I right?) women have the upper hand.

Males: you may not realise it, but your opening line on Tinder WILL determine whether you’re going to spend the next 3-6 minutes engaged in passionate lovemaking with a complete stranger or trawling #incel threads on Reddit while giving yourself a “stranger”.

Don’t worry though lads, I’m here to ensure eligible bachelors of the 21st century such as yourselves get some well-deserved action between the sheets.

Just follow this simple guide and you’ll be wooing the pants off literally every match you make on the world’s #1 dating app! Read more

Australia Raises Bin Chicken Army To Fight ISIS

ibis bin chicken dump rat australia

The Australian government is raising an ibis army to fight ISIS, the likes of which has been described by Defence Minister Marise Payne as “terrifying in its magnitude and unmatched in its scumminess”.

“We, as a country, are in a unique position to help global security. These birds are equipped with natural bin juice detectors, and will thus be able to zero in on the human garbage that is ISIS and swiftly eradicate it,” Minister Payne told The Underground Observer today. Read more

Budget Triggers Mass Heroin Addicts Reform

A series of well-thought-out welfare reforms in the 2017 Federal Budget has triggered a wave of repentance amongst heroin users now motivated to kick the habit once and for all.

“Sure, doctors have told me if I stop taking heroin I will die but if I stop getting welfare I can’t afford to live. So, I’ve decided to just take up yoga and hope for the best,” one user told The Underground Observer today in a candid interview. Read more

Do You Even #Entrepreneur? A Beginner’s Guide to Flaunting Your Success

entrepreneur startup

Are you a #Entrepreneur, struggling to get the brand recognition you and your fledgeling startup (which is definitely somehow more prestigious than a regular “small business”) deserve?

Do you like awake at night, wondering how many more eBooks you’ll have to get some guy in the Philippines to write before you’re finally recognised as the #ThoughtLeader you truly are?

Is it about time that you swapped Tinder for SeekingArrangement.com?

If you answered yes to these questions, this is the article for you! Fasten your pocket squares and hold onto your copy of GQ, because you’re about to find out how the real #Entrepreneurs do it, in just three easy steps!

Read more

5 Ways Share Rooming is Pretty Much Like Prison

There are a lot of things I can justify spending $300/week on – hell, I could take up a serious drug addiction with that kind of money – so as you can imagine, renting a single room in Sydney isn’t one of them.

Which is why thrifty me opted to share a two bedroom apartment with nine other people in what is commonly referred to around these parts as a share-room-house(?).What have I learned from this bargain basement experience so far? Well I’ve never been to prison, but here are five reasons I imagine it’s a lot like this place:

The 17 Guys On Tinder (with evidence)

Yes, there are in fact only 17 types of guys on Tinder – each with their own unique set of frequently off-putting, generally hilarious and sometimes charming qualities. From bare bums and pubes, to ISIS wannabes, to the guy posing beside his nanna whose bio expresses his desire to “turn you inside out and lick you like a crisp packet” this list has something for everyone to enjoy.

Read more

« Older Entries