Category: Satire

millennial, first home, first home buyers, unpaid, unpaid interns, free work, free labour, internship,, pedestrian, gen y, stop working for free

Millennial Buys* First Home Using Unpaid Internship Exposure

Jesús Whept, a 26-year-old graphic designer from Sydney, has become the poster child for the unpaid intern revolution after purchasing his first property with the help of the Credit Union for Non-paid Trainees with Experience & Exposure. “My journey towards home ownership first started while I was trawling for job opportunities and I spotted ...

tinder, tinder opening lines, tinder conversation starters, conversation starters, how to get laid, online dating, dating app, how to talk to girls on tinder, tinder goals

Get LAID Using These 4 Foolproof Tinder Conversation Starters

When it comes to Tinder (and everything else in this anti-men cultural economy am I right?) women have the upper hand. Males: you may not realise it, but your opening line on Tinder WILL determine whether you’re going to spend the next 3-6 minutes engaged in passionate lovemaking with a complete stranger or trawling #incel ...

NSW Premier Implements Fake F6 Scheme, Reveals Secret LNP “Too-Hard Basket”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is calling for NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian to step down after she publicly revealed the existence of a secretive “too-hard basket” brimming with unpopular LNP policies designed to distract the public while the party pushes other, slightly less reprehensible legislation through parliament.

ibis bin chicken dump rat australia

Australia Raises Bin Chicken Army To Fight ISIS

The Australian government is raising an ibis army to fight ISIS, the likes of which has been described by Defence Minister Marise Payne as “terrifying in its magnitude and unmatched in its scumminess”.

​2017 Federal Budget Success: Wealthy Addicts Reform En Masse, Swap Heroin for Yoga

A series of well-thought-out welfare reforms in the 2017 Federal Budget has triggered a wave of repentance amongst heroin users now motivated to kick the habit once and for all. “Sure, doctors have told me if I stop taking heroin I will die but if I stop getting welfare I can’t afford to live. So, ...

Groundbreaking Study Confirms Property Developers Aren’t Evil, Just Dumb

Scientists have found that property developer’s complete lack of formal education - not the unbridled greed of this handful of real-life Scrooge McDucks - is to blame for the thousands of ill-conceived property developments cropping up around Australia.

Media CEOs Sacrifice Editorial Jobs for Horcruxes: Gain Immortality, Lose Souls

A leak from the boardroom of Fairfax Media has revealed that beleaguered CEO Greg Hywood was granted a $2.5 million share bonus last year for cosmetic surgery to restore his human appearance following the successful creation of a series of horcruxes.