Category: Uncategorized

A Morning With Special K

Table 12. I am back where I was 12 hours ago. “It’s like you never left,” jokes Gerard, my charismatically cynical floor manager. I glance across the table. Holy shit. He’s still here.  Advertisements

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An uneasy feeling crept into my gut the moment I laid eyes on him. The meth-induced yellow tinge of his plaque-encrusted smile, the wet gangrenous look of his sandalled feet, the dart of his beady eyes, they all urged me to be certain I was never left alone with Steven. Advertisements

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Millennial Buys* First Home Using Unpaid Internship Exposure

Jesús Whept, a 26-year-old graphic designer from Sydney, has become the poster child for the unpaid intern revolution after purchasing his first property with the help of the Credit Union for Non-paid Trainees with Experience & Exposure. “My journey towards home ownership first started while I was trawling for job opportunities and I spotted ...

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Get LAID Using These 4 Foolproof Tinder Conversation Starters

When it comes to Tinder (and everything else in this anti-men cultural economy am I right?) women have the upper hand. Males: you may not realise it, but your opening line on Tinder WILL determine whether you’re going to spend the next 3-6 minutes engaged in passionate lovemaking with a complete stranger or trawling #incel ...

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The CEO Pikeout: How The Rich & Powerful Do Charity

Spiderman onesies, Adidas tracksuits paired with Cartier watches, tailor-made suits with folded silk pocket squares and shiny brown leather shoes – these, coupled with promotional beanies, are the outfits of choice for the middle-aged men sauntering around the park tonight. Youths in hi-vis wander about with clipboards and flattened cardboard boxes. ’Love Shack’, ‘Two Princes’, ’Beat ...

NSW Premier Implements Fake F6 Scheme, Reveals Secret LNP “Too-Hard Basket”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is calling for NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian to step down after she publicly revealed the existence of a secretive “too-hard basket” brimming with unpopular LNP policies designed to distract the public while the party pushes other, slightly less reprehensible legislation through parliament.

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Australia Raises Bin Chicken Army To Fight ISIS

The Australian government is raising an ibis army to fight ISIS, the likes of which has been described by Defence Minister Marise Payne as “terrifying in its magnitude and unmatched in its scumminess”.