The Australian government is raising an ibis army to fight ISIS, the likes of which has been described by Defence Minister Marise Payne as “terrifying in its magnitude and unmatched in its scumminess”.
“We, as a country, are in a unique position to help global security. These birds are equipped with natural bin juice detectors, and will thus be able to zero in on the human garbage that is ISIS and swiftly eradicate it,” Minister Payne told The Underground Observer today. Read more
Unless you’ve got a soft spot
For quick and bitter ends,
Don’t go ’round trying to
Make those kind of friends.
You better leave that man alone.
A series of well-thought-out welfare reforms in the 2017 Federal Budget has triggered a wave of repentance amongst heroin users now motivated to kick the habit once and for all.
“Sure, doctors have told me if I stop taking heroin I will die but if I stop getting welfare I can’t afford to live. So, I’ve decided to just take up yoga and hope for the best,” one user told The Underground Observer today in a candid interview. Read more
A recent study has found that property developer’s complete lack of formal education – not unbridled, narcissistic greed – is to blame for the thousands of ill-conceived property developments cropping up around Australia.
Pauline Hanson supporters: Who are they? Where did they come from? What on earth is going on in their heads?
One Nation’s recently acquired four seats in the Senate, and this remains a political enigma that progressive Australia simply cannot wrap its mind around.
Are you a #Entrepreneur, struggling to get the brand recognition you and your fledgeling startup (which is definitely somehow more prestigious than a regular “small business”) deserve?
Do you like awake at night, wondering how many more eBooks you’ll have to get some guy in the Philippines to write before you’re finally recognised as the #ThoughtLeader you truly are?
Is it about time that you swapped Tinder for SeekingArrangement.com?
If you answered yes to these questions, this is the article for you! Fasten your pocket squares and hold onto your copy of GQ, because you’re about to find out how the real #Entrepreneurs do it, in just three easy steps!
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Las Vegas had set my plans back by two days, and I desperately needed to make up time if I was going to hit Seattle*.
The plan was to drop Chris and Corey back into Simi Valley, then take the first highway north. I’d stay at a cheap motel when I got sick of driving then head to San Francisco the next day.
At 1am I pulled off the highway at Atascadero, only to get straight back on again when I discovered it was 150 for a night in the Motel 6.
By 2am, I couldn’t rely on The Eels and wound down windows to stay awake, so I detoured east to get a $57 room in Fresno County
“Fresno” and “Coalinga” did ring a prisony, bikerish, gangland sort of bell. But, after several turns from the highway I was travelling away from neighbourhoods and onto empty desert roads.
There was no one around, and that made me feel safe (in the beginning).
Written for & originally published in Dreamland Magazine, Edition 2.
“You have nowhere to hide. We are everywhere… For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind, for our own enjoyment, we will proceed to expel you from the internet,” Anonymous announced to the Church of Scientology, via YouTube, in 2008. Read more