Tag Archives: australia

Australia Raises Bin Chicken Army To Fight ISIS

ibis bin chicken dump rat australia

The Australian government is raising an ibis army to fight ISIS, the likes of which has been described by Defence Minister Marise Payne as “terrifying in its magnitude and unmatched in its scumminess”.

“We, as a country, are in a unique position to help global security. These birds are equipped with natural bin juice detectors, and will thus be able to zero in on the human garbage that is ISIS and swiftly eradicate it,” Minister Payne told The Underground Observer today. Read more

Advertisements

Groundbreaking Study Confirms Property Developers Aren’t Evil, Just Dumb

A recent study has found that property developer’s complete lack of formal education – not unbridled, narcissistic greed – is to blame for the thousands of ill-conceived property developments cropping up around Australia.

Read more

The 17 Guys On Tinder (with evidence)

Yes, there are in fact only 17 types of guys on Tinder – each with their own unique set of frequently off-putting, generally hilarious and sometimes charming qualities. From bare bums and pubes, to ISIS wannabes, to the guy posing beside his nanna whose bio expresses his desire to “turn you inside out and lick you like a crisp packet” this list has something for everyone to enjoy.

Read more

Le Palais De Rat: The Cheapest Hostel in Sydney

Outside the strip joints you’ll find slick, stone-faced business men in navy suits and shiny sunglasses brushing past scaly, Kmart-clad sex workers. Duck inside and you’ll see a stream of Sydney’s beautiful (or at least passable) girls and boys writhing and smiling on the laps of frivolous men.

A surplus of crumpled betting slips, free pencils, bad pizzas, scavenged butts, $6.50 Tim Tams and overpriced drinks can all also be found in this proverbial Pleasure Island, but that’s pretty much it.

Kings Cross is not really a tourist destination.
Read more

Why Don’t You Just Leave? First Contact Recap

Stray dogs and shirtless kids wander under street light as the team enters Elcho Island. Their car pelted with rocks, Bo-dene announces it’s “the scariest place I’ve been in my life”.

The weary travellers are welcomed into Timmy Gudumurrkuwuy’s furniture-free household of seventeen. Well-meaning police officer Trent asks, “Is this, like, your kitchen, dining and lounge all in one?”

Yep. Read more

« Older Entries